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These sad thoughts in my head
Wish I could read her something understood
That could have been my only chance it was said
I saw the opportunity if I could
She thought I wouldn’t I proved her wrong
Our lips pressing together a lovely song
Now she’s been in silence nothing said
I’m left still wondering these thoughts in my head

So I kissed her
She didn’t believed me when I said I would
I pulled over
leaned over
Put my hand behind her head the other on the side of her face and kissed that turned into making out
Hands moving around, lip biting, moans of pleasure
3 time we did this
That was nice I said
She was suprized since she said she was very very drunk
I replied it was honest just like words are when your drunk
Where will this lead
Time will only tell

I try to no avail
Unsuccessful with every endeavor
Hopeful and yet still optimistic
Countered by depression and doubt
Realistic optimist logical to a fault
Questionable outcomes
Results from causes and effects
Still flipping the coin
Shooting from the hip
Going with the flow as I paddle upstream
I try

a glimpse of what could be
seeing what others have
their amazing feelings
their other half is the best
now left alone
just one half
amazing by my self
silence in the room
postponed future next times

Here in this empty bed alone tonight
Tomrrow I know it will end the same
But before that happens is what I question
She will want to lay down on the bed once again
I will want to cuddle with her once again
Will she do something mean as before
Will I have the temptation to go forward
Or will I have the willpower not to do anything
If we kiss will there be anything felt
Anything behind it anything learned or lost from it
This will be a tipping point of possibilities or the reality of nothingness
Tomorrow we will see
See what will be spoke and said
Time together, food together, drinks together
Unknown outcome together

I want to put my head down on your chest
Let me hear you heart beating
Will it be speeding up
Or will it be calm and soothing
Will it sound like your love for me
Or will it be half the beat of a gallifreyan
Let me nuzzle my head between your breasts
Take in the smell of your chest
Run your hands in my hair
Whisper something soft and sweet The warmth of your body next to
the warmth of mine
Kiss my head gently
Tell me that I’m a keeper

I have no one next to me
So I can say good night, I love you
And give her a kiss
Either on her lips or her forehead

I have no one next to me
To tell me that they love me
To give me a kiss good night
Have me hold them in my arms

I have no one next to me
For me to be the big spoon
And for them to be the little spoon
To feel each others hearts beating

I have no one next to me
For them to hog the blankets
To cuddle close for warmth
For me to smell her allure

I have no one next to me
To wake up with bad breath
To say I love you
And start the day with a kiss

I told her how I felt
She said she doesn’t feel the same
My arms are left still empty as before
In my bed pillows are what I have left to cuddle with
My heart still left empty

I hate being at a crossroads I just wanna curl up I feel intoxicated but I haven’t had a drink maybe I should would that change how I feel how I am what I want what I can’t have what reminds me of what I don’t want to be worries of the past repeating the future unfolding in an unpleasant way the effect of cause and actions of results wonders of mind and thought space in time

There is a connection between the unconnected
An under lining bond with each other
It transcends the distances and keeps us together